To break your heart open, again

for Vickie

Talking to a friend today
via email
about loneliness
remembering
the five months
I spent in Flagstaff, Arizona
before my husband joined me there
as some of the loneliest days of my life.

Trying to stay true to the plan
Hanging in there
I tried to attend all the beauty I could find
that was promised
if we moved 2,552 miles from the only home we'd ever known.

And so it was that I drove
the few miles from our apartment
beneath Mt. Elden
to the flat land
beneath the San Francisco Peaks
to see the sun flowers
everyone was talking about.

And what I found
were not the tall, gangly,
heavy hanging
seed bearers that I expected.
No, instead
a valley of vast yellow delight
that broke
my heart open

in loveliness

in possibility

and on the road
where I turned off route 180
to take pictures

a row of mailboxes
longing for news
from a girl far from home.